Seems she's now a free bird!
- Irene RAnd I've had a nice long chat with Ciaran too now, night before last, and will catch him again soon. I got two 'go away for ten minutes' treatments, but he was not the slightest bit shout-y or arrogant with me. Told me not to tell anyone that he'd been nice to me, so keep that to yourselves - haha! I reckon he was trying out the new, softer method on me!
- Anyway, I still don't really know where I am - seeing then not seeing, understanding intellectually, etc. - which might make it self evident that a little pop has yet to occur. Yet I understand that an 'event' as such needs a someone to happen to....and there isn't one. So I'm seeing that 'event' as a lie, a distraction. What I'd really be impressed by is if someone could describe how they 'looked'. Physically, actually, what did you do in order to really look? That bit can get my head in a fix sometimes. Thanks guys. :0)
- Looking happens - doing happens without anyone doing, but while the illusion of self is still true for you - you can look simply by using your mind to track down the self. It is hard to explain but I'll try.
- It's not an event so much as an undoing of an idea/concept. How do you look over at the window? You simply turn your head there - no thought involved - in truth no action involved. And the seeing - you see by looking. It just happens as you look. The challenge is WHERE to look, more than how :)
- So then - look everywhere you can. Look for the self. Every idea you have about that self you believe yourself to be. One way is by moving your hand or by walking somewhere and watching closely. Who is doing it. I am doing it - you may say. Track down that "I" sense. etc
JeanneMy final recognition of the truth of there being no self, happened when I got upset with people asking me how can I claim to be liberated and to say that they are looking in the wrong place. Somehow the interaction upset me. I realised that while i had acknowledged that I could not find a self or evidence for a self anywhere, there was behavioral evidence in the belief. I saw that it was only a belief and that it was creating pain as I defended it's rights. In a flash I saw the stupidity in that. And I was free
- jeanne - thank you! That's the kind of thing I do....I see hands and bodies and bits of 'me' doing stuff....I question the 'I'...and find nothing....I'm stYing with it....and with the idea that thoughts get stuck to a fiction called 'me' and adds up to a pile of shit...floating in space....space....
- There's really only one thing to question or look at as I'm sure Ciaran told you repeatedly - there is no you. Is that true?
- It is true. I've followed the track all the way to nothing....and seen that when this physical manifestation came into the world, there was no 'me' there at all....there was life, manifested in an intuitive form. Then there was a whole heap of stuff.....insubstantial, coming-and-going stuff....that seemed to form a 'me'...but it can't be found as an entity at all. Isn't there. Never was.
- :) Beautiful!! You're free!! :)
- IreneWell...that's what I thought....but it feels like nothing happened...and that seeing has come gradually. But it's as clear as a bell...I've been obscuring it a bit with thinking that there should be a 'pop'... but Ciaran did say not to focus on waiting for an event...because that's like sitting back as a 'me' waiting for something to happen to 'me'...then he said to focus on the void that's there instead of 'me'...I don't know about that bit...that feels a bit different, and might need more practice, but I just thought there was more to 'get'...but it's very very simply true that if I try to find me, if I follow the logic, ask the questions, probe and peer, it's sillier and sillier to think that I could find anything. And I've started looking around at street scapes, full of people, watching my judgements arise, then kind of seeing past them to the absolute rightness of the manifestations all around me...every single person being perfectly absolutely right as they are....as if life itself HAS to manifest in all those unique forms...just BECAUSE.
- Jeanne Well - the fact that there is no self stays true no matter what feelings or thoughts arise.
